I saw Bad moms in theaters and watched it again last week because it’s just that good.
This isn’t about the movie, though. It’s about how we are all bad moms in some way or another. Lets face it, we all have or had a Gwendolyn in our life. The mom(s) who thinks their way is the only way or best way to raise a child. Moms can never win. If we breastfeed we are disgusting. If we formula feed we don’t care about the health of our child. We get judged if we let our child sleep in the bed with us until they are 4 or if we make them sleep in their crib the same night they come home from the hospital. We are bad if we are working moms and we are bad if we are stay at home moms. We can never live up to the expectations that are put on us daily.
“So, the truth is, when it comes to being a mom, I have no f@#$ing clue what I’m doing. And you know what? I don’t think anyone does. I think we’re all bad moms, and you know why? Because being a mom today is impossible! So can we all just please stop pretending like we have it figured out and stop judging each other for once?”-Amy, Bad Moms.
I’ve always thought about the fact that I’m not raising a child, I’m raising an adult. My baby is going to be someones husband and father one day. It’s my job to try my best not to completely screw him up. It’s my job to teach him life lessons so that he will be a decent, caring human being, not spoiled and entitled. But the truth is, no one wrote a book on how to be the best mother ever. I’m assuming it might have something to do with the fact that every single child is different. Something that works for one kid most likely won’t work for the other.
- My son has to earn everything he wants by doing chores. His chores include cleaning his bathroom, loading and unloading the dishwasher, helping with laundry, vacuuming, cleaning his room, cleaning the bird cage and whatever other miscellaneous things during the week. If he doesn’t do his chores, he doesn’t get an allowance that week. The world is a tough place and I think it’s better he learns early that nothing is free.
- He makes his own breakfast every morning.
- He has to finish his homework before he can do anything fun after school. I will help him if he needs it but I won’t do it for him.
- If he decides to be disrespectful to me or any other person, he will be grounded or have things taken out of his room. No exceptions.
- He has to read for at least 20 minutes before bed.
- He’s only allowed one soda a week and one unhealthy snack a day. Diabetes runs in my family and I’m going to do whatever I can to prevent him from getting it.
Think I’m a bad mom yet? I’m just getting started 🙂
- I allow my son to get dirty. Yep, I said it. He’s a kid and I let him be a kid. When he plays outside I encourage him to get dirty, roll around in the grass, play in the dirt, pick up that harmless insect and explore the world.
- I’ve never been to a PTA meeting or bake sale.
- I’m not just my sons mom, I’m his friend. Because it is possible to be your childs friend. He knows when I’m being mom and when I’m being a friend. It’s all about balance for us and it works.
- I let him decide who gets to hug or touch him. I won’t force him to hug, touch or kiss someone if he doesn’t want to. He’s allowed to set boundaries when it comes to his body.
- I’m honest with him. If he wants to know about something then we talk about it no matter how difficult it might be.
- There are days that I come home from work completely exhausted and we lay around watching netflix for the rest of the night.
- But I refuse to have cable because I don’t want him watching TV all day, everyday.
- He’s limited on how much time he can spend playing video games.
I’m a bad mom because I actually do lose my sh%# every now and then. Because some days I completely fail and have no idea what I’m suppose to do. Because there are days I want to scream and cry and give up. Because I want that other mom friend to vent to about all the unbelievably stupid things my child does (without judgment) and then cry because I never thought I could love another human that much. I’m a bad mom because I’m not perfect.
Moms have to stick together because some times we are all we have for the support we all desperately need. We have to stop with the judgments and expectations. I would love to hear what you think makes you a bad mom! Lets enjoy this madness together. We don’t have to do this alone.
November 19, 2016 at 12:08 am
Personally I think you’re doing great. There’s a wonderful balance of discipline and friendship in your parenting style. Your son is lucky to have you 🙂
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November 19, 2016 at 12:19 am
Thank you so much! That’s really sweet of you! The whole thing with being a bad mom is admitting that we can’t be perfect and doing what’s best for our children even if they don’t like it. We can’t live up to that “perfect mom” expectation and that’s completely okay but in society that is what makes us a bad mom.
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November 19, 2016 at 12:30 am
Perfectly worded. And personally, society doesn’t have it right all the time. To me, it seems like you’re doing just fine 🙂
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November 19, 2016 at 12:37 am
I completely agree with you! Thank you again!
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November 19, 2016 at 1:01 am
It sounds like you are doing a great job and your son is lucky to have a mom like you. I am not a mother and I definitely have seen that it is a challenge to raise another human being. There is no set guide or perfect way. But every struggle is worth it for the incredible love and experience that comes from no other relationship than that of a parent and child.
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November 19, 2016 at 1:09 am
Thank you! I’m really trying haha! Being a mom is probably one of the hardest jobs and comes with no rule book yet we get judged the most for every move we make. The worst part is that most judgments come from other mothers. But you’re right, it is worth every second!
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November 19, 2016 at 1:10 am
You sound like an awesome mom. To me the perfect mom is full of love and only wants the best for her child☺❤
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November 19, 2016 at 1:14 am
Thank you! That really means a lot! I completely agree with you!
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November 19, 2016 at 7:48 am
It sounds like you are a great Mum! It is so hard for us, if we encourage hobbies we are pushy if we don’t we are lazy, if we post pictures we are bragging if we don’t we don’t care about their achievements! T has to keep her room tidy, make her own bed, put her washing in the basket and feed her puppy. She doesn’t watch TV in the mornings and loves nothing better than to have a sort out of her things!😄 None of us are perfect and we are all writing the rules as we go!
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November 19, 2016 at 1:06 pm
Exactly! It seems like no matter what we do we are always doing something wrong in someone else’s eyes. And most of the time those opinions come from other mothers. I think all moms need some support from each other just to be reminded every now and then that we aren’t completely screwing up but instead it seems like it’s just one big competition. I think you’re doing a great job as well!
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November 19, 2016 at 1:22 pm
Thank you 😊 I did my thankful list, I actually found it a really nice thing to do. It’s under Being thankful if you wanted a read.x
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November 19, 2016 at 2:17 pm
I sure will!
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November 20, 2016 at 9:26 pm
This is a fantastic post that I think a lot of people should read. I agree that there are way too many double standards for mum these days. Although I’m only young and don’t have children of my own, I think your raising a fine young adult!
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November 21, 2016 at 1:56 am
Thank you so much! Feel free to share it. There really is a huge lack of understanding and encouragement in the mom community. Being a mom is tough enough to have everyone else constantly telling us how much we are screwing up.
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November 21, 2016 at 6:09 pm
The best part about this post for me was the content and also the flow of the post. Great job!
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November 21, 2016 at 11:19 pm
Thank you!
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December 6, 2016 at 6:50 am
I loved this post.. I think you are an amazing mom 🙂
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December 7, 2016 at 1:21 pm
Thank you!
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January 7, 2017 at 7:52 am
You and I, we can be bad moms together! I’ll raise my hand to all the above!
The fact is, we can all be the perfect parent to our own children, if we make sure they are the only ones we take into consideration. And that goes for each child as an individual. The rest is BS! We are all so judgmental because there are so many things you can “do wrong” as a mama and we all want desperately to be right. If we all just be, maybe we can all be happy!
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January 8, 2017 at 5:20 am
I totally agree with you! Every child is different and every child requires different things. It’s not really a matter of parenting the right or wrong way but more of a parenting the way our kids need. We all struggle from time to time and it would just be a lot nicer if we could be each other’s support instead of judge.
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February 3, 2017 at 3:15 pm
Your right we are not alone. Sounds like you are an awesome mom and instilling good word ethics. High five!!
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February 7, 2017 at 2:26 pm
Thank you!
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