I’m still here, I promise.

I think I’ve taken the word exhausted to a whole new level.

Hope is a strong word

It’s amazing how sharing one thing can trigger your mind to think about so many other things.

“This is not your place, no this is not your playground. It’s my heart.”

I am a big fan of documentaries. I have to limit myself on the ones about crime and murder. I research everything I see that is based on a true story. So to give you an example of how lost I get in the story, last year I studied Columbine. I was young when it happened so I didn’t really understand much about it. I studied what happened for a good two weeks. I read the two kids journals, I watched all of the videos that were still around to watch, saw all of the pictures and read the testimonies of the survivors. I tried to put myself in the place of those two boys to try to understand why they did what they did. Believe me, it had nothing to do with video games. I ended up in a deep depressive state for about a month because of how lost I got in this story.

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.”- Edgar Allan Poe

I didn’t wake up to a phone call this morning like I did 3 years ago. That was a relief. Last year, I stopped expecting bad things to happen on this day. I just thought that maybe if I didn’t expect bad things then it would be just like any other normal day. I tried that again this year but it didn’t work out as well.