It’s amazing how sharing one thing can trigger your mind to think about so many other things.Here’s to sharing another piece of my mind 🙂
At 14 years old I really wanted to become a model. My passion for the arts started at a very young age. I first wanted to be a dancer, then an actress, singer and finally a model. I attempted to draw and paint but my brother stole the talent in that department. I’m sure all of those things are almost completely normal for most little girls who dream big. I signed up for a modeling competition not long after I turned 14. To my surprise I won best photograph and was invited to compete in the finals. I pretty much flunked the “commercial” part meaning I really sucked (still do) at public speaking. That didn’t stop my excitement. I rushed home to tell my dad that I made it and all he had to do was give me $20 to secure my spot. He thought about it for a few days and him being the wise man that he was came back with a no. Obviously that wasn’t the answer that I was hoping for but he had nothing but good intentions.
Eventually I did research into the modeling business. I always wondered how half of the women looked so perfect or how women like that actually existed. In my research I learned about a little thing called photoshop and the occasional starving tactic. Turns out that stretch marks, freckles, pale skin, big feet and a not super toned stomach aren’t as uncommon as we are made to believe. Hints the part about my dads answer being a wise one. There was a time in my life that I really believed I needed to have work done and starve myself to look pretty. Then I grew up and realized that true beauty doesn’t come from a surgeon, tanning bed or lack of food. My dad was just trying to protect me from a world that he knew I really didn’t want to be apart of.
Not long after all of that, I was handed a camera and it was a done deal. I found that I love being behind the camera much more than I love being in front of one. Don’t get me wrong, I still jump at the chance to be in a family photo or photo with my friends but that’s the extent of that. I’ve thought a lot more about all of this since I posted my first photo blog. For the past 5 or so years I knew that any job I could ever have would never amount to what I am really drawn to do. Then again, I learned pretty fast that teachers weren’t exactly being honest when they told us we could do anything we put our mind to. They forgot to mention the part about how much it cost. Photography is an extremely competitive career and expensive at that.
You know how people say if you don’t really love what you do then you should change jobs. Boy, if it were only that easy. The thing is, what I really want to do is travel the world taking photos of disasters or horrible events along with a few pleasant ones. I’m not emo, I promise! I’ve always wanted to show the not so good things of this world. I thought that if people could see things the way that I do then maybe it would inspire them to help or try to change the world within their means at least. That’s how I wanted to leave my mark on this earth. Not to mention forcing my body into really awkward positions just to get a good shot. Who wouldn’t love that? I haven’t given up on that dream yet. I still have hope!