I normally love rainy days. I love listening to all of the different sounds and the peace that follows it. I often think about the brave young girl who would always run outside on a rainy day to welcome the storm with open arms. The girl that danced around barefoot in the mud, looking up at the sky as if she was trying to prove herself to the thunder. Every time it yelled out with anger, she would yell back with love. She was a free, untouched spirit. Sometimes, I miss that girl. Letting her out seems so hard these days but it’s not impossible.
Every now and then a rainy day will make me sad. I, like many others, struggle with anxiety. I still remember the days when that wasn’t an issue. I wasn’t afraid of anything but death itself, and even that would have been greeted with a smile and a big f-you. My anxiety started later in life. I try to face my triggers but they tend to get the best of me. I have always viewed anxiety as fear of the unknown and the lack of control over a situation. Fear…such a small word to have such a strong impact.
Sometimes we tend to be as strong as we can to make sure our world doesn’t fall apart including the people in it. But sometimes, you have to let yourself have a moment. Remember, you are not defined by this (or any) disease and as much as it wants to take complete control over your life…you can’t let it. You can’t give up. You are stronger than you think. This too shall pass.
As I end this I want to leave you all with words that have helped me daily and I hope they will help you too. “I know you’re sad, so I won’t tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day. Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don’t give up on yourself just yet. It’ll get better. Until then, have a day.”